As women, we are so conditioned to being our own worst critic that the moments of self-acceptance have become a rare thing. We tear ourselves down, and then sometimes each other, without even thinking about why we do that, or why we should NOT do it.
Here’s an example of the things that go through MY head during any given day when I look in the mirror:
My hair is so big – and it’s dry and frizzy (which BTW is my own fault)
My face is not symmetrical, and one of my eyes is different to the other.
My bonded teeth have discolored over time, and they look grey to me in certain light.
My forehead is too high, and my chin too prominent.
My neck is long and giraffey.
OMG I am so pale! Look at those dark circles under my eyes and those stupid crow’s feet I’m getting.
I’m way too skinny, and my little spindly arms and legs make me look gangly and awkward.
My legs are too long and it makes it hard to find pants that look right, plus when I wear heels, I look like a pair of legs with a head on top!
My arms are hairy – and it’s light hair, but I’m pale, so I see it.
I don’t know where my boobs think they’re going, but they need to get back up here cause I already have enough around my mid-section!
Speaking of mid-section, I have this weird belly roll thing, which is annoying because I am too skinny everywhere else!!
My back is not straight and I have a scar from top to bottom because of scoliosis surgery. I don’t wear backless things, tight shirts or let people photograph me from certain angles.
My feet are gimpy – I have weird shaped toes, and the two that I broke never healed properly.
I know there’s more, but you get the idea.
Then I see this picture – of me – and I LOVE it.
Here’s an example of the things that go through MY head during any given day when I look in the mirror:
My hair is so big – and it’s dry and frizzy (which BTW is my own fault)
My face is not symmetrical, and one of my eyes is different to the other.
My bonded teeth have discolored over time, and they look grey to me in certain light.
My forehead is too high, and my chin too prominent.
My neck is long and giraffey.
OMG I am so pale! Look at those dark circles under my eyes and those stupid crow’s feet I’m getting.
I’m way too skinny, and my little spindly arms and legs make me look gangly and awkward.
My legs are too long and it makes it hard to find pants that look right, plus when I wear heels, I look like a pair of legs with a head on top!
My arms are hairy – and it’s light hair, but I’m pale, so I see it.
I don’t know where my boobs think they’re going, but they need to get back up here cause I already have enough around my mid-section!
Speaking of mid-section, I have this weird belly roll thing, which is annoying because I am too skinny everywhere else!!
My back is not straight and I have a scar from top to bottom because of scoliosis surgery. I don’t wear backless things, tight shirts or let people photograph me from certain angles.
My feet are gimpy – I have weird shaped toes, and the two that I broke never healed properly.
I know there’s more, but you get the idea.
Then I see this picture – of me – and I LOVE it.
 |  |
All those things that I hate: the pale skin, big hair, long legs and neck, skinny arms, etc. They don’t matter. Because in this picture, I think I am beautiful. (granted, there's makeup, and lighting, and maybe some photoshop touches-obviously in the one on the right, but that is me, that's legitimately how I look....)
So if I can just remember that this body – with all those flaws – can look like that in a photograph, maybe I should accept that others might not see me the way I see myself. Maybe they see me closer to how I look in this picture. And maybe the things I see in them that I envy, are the things they would list when asked what they hate about themselves.
The point is, that we always want what we don’t have, but we’re all beautiful in our own way, and we need to start believing that. Because when we feel beautiful, we can see beauty in others more easily. When we constantly put ourselves down, it feels normal to look for flaws in others so we don’t feel alone in our self-consciousness.
So when I look in the mirror now, I should be thinking:
My hair is lovely and thick. It holds curl well and I don’t need to wash it often.
I have pale skin, and don’t tan, but as I age, my skin will wrinkle less and keep me looking youthful. And they invented makeup to cover dark circles!
I have a unique face, and people remember me.
I have a ballet dancers long neck, it’s graceful. And I can wear chokers.
I am thin, yes, but I am healthy. And my long legs are sexy.
And who’s gonna look at my back when they’re dazzled by my awesome personality?! lol
Maybe we all need to make an “I don’t like” list, and then reverse it. :-)
Self-affirmation instead of self-loathing.
Here's a link I saw posted on FB today after I wrote this....kind of in the same vein....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aW8BDgLpZkI
Thank-you to Nicole Kerr and Dion Farrell at Femme Fatale Production for making me look so beautiful in not just this, but all of the pictures! The mirror tells me what I've already made up my mind to think - but this photograph tells me that I might be wrong, and some weird female hormone I have is distorting my vision!
#roomtomovedanceandfitness #femmefataleproduction #loveyourself #boudoir #photoshoot
So if I can just remember that this body – with all those flaws – can look like that in a photograph, maybe I should accept that others might not see me the way I see myself. Maybe they see me closer to how I look in this picture. And maybe the things I see in them that I envy, are the things they would list when asked what they hate about themselves.
The point is, that we always want what we don’t have, but we’re all beautiful in our own way, and we need to start believing that. Because when we feel beautiful, we can see beauty in others more easily. When we constantly put ourselves down, it feels normal to look for flaws in others so we don’t feel alone in our self-consciousness.
So when I look in the mirror now, I should be thinking:
My hair is lovely and thick. It holds curl well and I don’t need to wash it often.
I have pale skin, and don’t tan, but as I age, my skin will wrinkle less and keep me looking youthful. And they invented makeup to cover dark circles!
I have a unique face, and people remember me.
I have a ballet dancers long neck, it’s graceful. And I can wear chokers.
I am thin, yes, but I am healthy. And my long legs are sexy.
And who’s gonna look at my back when they’re dazzled by my awesome personality?! lol
Maybe we all need to make an “I don’t like” list, and then reverse it. :-)
Self-affirmation instead of self-loathing.
Here's a link I saw posted on FB today after I wrote this....kind of in the same vein....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aW8BDgLpZkI
Thank-you to Nicole Kerr and Dion Farrell at Femme Fatale Production for making me look so beautiful in not just this, but all of the pictures! The mirror tells me what I've already made up my mind to think - but this photograph tells me that I might be wrong, and some weird female hormone I have is distorting my vision!
#roomtomovedanceandfitness #femmefataleproduction #loveyourself #boudoir #photoshoot
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